I have been absent for a few days. Not because it has not been exciting here. There is always something happening here, but sometimes I just need to reflect on where I have been and where I am going. Sometimes it just is what it is. Each day plugs along. The changes happen and you just have to roll with them. Kids disappoint you, kids bring you joy. Kids leave for school, kids cant wait to leave for school. Kids get married, kids go to work, kids have huge lives that do not include you. And at the end of the day, you are the one that is there. As the "Monkees" said it's just another Pleasant Valley Sunday. And there you are, the stable factor. You are the anchor and the glue that holds it all together and makes it all sensible.
That is one of the hardest parts of being a parent. You get left behind. You revel in the accomplishments of your children. You are thrilled when they win a race, make a diving tackle, get the interception or make the winning catch. You are excited for their "moment". Sometimes you get a "Hi mom" into the camera, maybe when they are interviewed they tell the reporter what a great support you have been and blah, blah, blah.
None of it matters. You have worked, sacrificed, cried, clapped, chastised, praised and mostly loved them for years. It is their time to shine. A good parent lets them do that. a good parent steps back and lets them have their time, their moment. A good parent will feel the love and pride at the same time that they feel the emptiness and loneliness. And that comes whether the moving on happens in a positive or a negative way.
Being a parent is so rewarding. The love you give comes back to you and overwhelms you. It also leaves you standing alone and wondering where the time has gone. But that is okay, that is the way it is designed to happen. As your kids move on, you continue to support them and love them. Often as adults, they seek your advice and support more than when they were a "know it all" teenager or young adult. Sometimes you just have to let them go, knowing that they will crash and burn. But you have to let them go.
It is the time in your life and theirs that brings so many emotions into play. You think about them, you think about your life. You wonder what your accomplishments have been and whether you should have done more. You wonder if you have taught them enough and how to give them more or even if you should. Sometimes there are clear answers and definite rights and wrongs. Sometimes you just do the best that you can at any given moment and pray for God's guidance and mercy. You work like crazy to look confident and sure of what and who you are, and pray that your kids believe that. In the end, they grow up and move on with their lives. The best that can happen is that the values you have given them, stay with them for many years to come. You pray that your relationship grows and ALWAYS YOU LOVE THEM. May God Bless all of you every day and the time, short or long that you have with your child. Make the most of every moment of your relationships in your family. They are precious and should never be taken for granted.
Wife, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Nurse, Grandmother, Friend...that's me in a nutshell!