I may or may not have mentioned in the past that we try to get together as a family, at least however many who are able and go on a big group vacation.  Now, to some of you, that may sound fun . . . and really, it is.  It can tend to be a bit of a logistical nightmare, which is why we also try to rotate who is in charge of booking things.  I think everyone should have that experience, don't you? 

As far as the actual trip, things work out pretty well.  We usually rent a large home and everyone has some private space and time.  As far as activities, if you want to do something, do it.  If you don't, no big deal.  If you want company, we have plenty of that to provide.  If you want to be alone, no one is offended.  It is actually pretty fun.

A few years ago, Superson and his new wife, the Stylist spent their first honeymoon with us.  I am still hurt by the fact that they did not invite us on their second honeymoon to Mexico.  (ha ha ha).  Seriously though, someone in my extended family did that. . . . took mom and dad on the honeymoon.  Let's just leave it at that.

We have done whitewater rafting trips which were amazing. .  . . . even the one where I was thrown from the raft during an 18 foot drop on a Class V rapid along with Mini Me.  (Our husbands swear they had nothing to do with it)  But anyway, I saw a video of a family being pulled behind a boat on a raft the other day and was reminded of a vacation when the kids were younger and unable to refuse to go.

We went to Georgia to visit my cousin.  His family loves to boat and they took us to  a nearby lake for a day on the water.  The kids had a blast.  They swam and got to water ski.  It was the perfect outing, until . . . I don't know what he was thinking, but my cousin offered to let my husband drive the boat. Now, at the time the oldest of the kids was around 18, making "The Surprise" 8 or 9. 

Something happens to a man when you put him in control of a powerful machine with an engine.  He lost all natural instincts to protect our children!  He actually seemed to lose his mind.  There was a glassy look in his eyes and this crazy looking smile.  This is all hindsight by the way.  None of us thought we would witness the carnage that took place.  First Bubby decided to try skiing.  His dad throttled the engine so fast that my son flew up into the air, came down on the water and somersaulted a bit.  Skis went everywhere, but his body remained intact.  Why, I don't know, but he decided to try it again.  I think we collected all his parts.  There was no third attempt.  My cousin did suggest a little gentler start but my husband was enraged with power!

Okay, the skis didn't work.  Maybe it would be better on a raft.  Mommy went first.  Can you fracture your tailbone on a rubber raft?  I am pretty sure she did when she was thrown around like a rag doll.  Again, my cousin suggested easing off the gas.  Perhaps he didn't notice the glazed look in Doc's eyes. 

Well, maybe if we put a few younger kids in the raft, he will go slower.  Maybe he was just crazy tested the courage of our two oldest.  So, the Blonde took her shot at it.  I will never forget the look on my cousin's wife's face as we pulled a bloodied child from the water.  To be honest, she gets bloody noses frequently, but this was a little over the top.  I tried to ease my cousin's conscience by actually saying that "it's no big deal, her nose bleeds all the time."  I heard me say it, and couldn't believe I thought it would work.  The controls were removed from Doc, mostly because no one else would dare to be the next victim!

So the moral to the story is . . . trust your father only to a certain point.  You can trust God all you want, but use caution with your earthly father, especially when engines and power are involved.   I hope you are able to plan some family time together soon.  It does not need to be any big trip, just time together without phones, etc.  Always remember to smile and laugh about the craziness and disasters that happen!

In light of the tragedy that has taken place in Florida this week, it just does not seem right to publish anything humorous today.  I have had a recent medical scare with one of the adult children recently.  The thought of what she has gone through has broken me into fragments and I cannot imagine how broken the parents and families of the students and faculty in Broward County feel.

So, today some serious advice.  First to our government.  Can you please stop all of your self-serving rhetoric?!  Even in light of this tragedy, you are all using it to promote your agendas.  Where do we spend money to stop this? Do we need more gun control?  What about mental health?  Well, let me tell you that all of you hold some responsibility in the fact that our social network in this country is as broken as it is, because you have helped create it and you feed it.  First, let people do their jobs without interference.  Teachers are supposed to teach our children.  Stop pushing your agendas on them and simply let them do what they are educated to do.  Sure, there are bad apples in every basket, weed those out and let the others do their jobs!  Second, guns are used violently by criminals.  Don't take away my right to carry a weapon because someone else broke the law.  Stricter gun laws?  Criminal generally don't use registered weapons or legal weapons.  You can make up all the laws that you want, the reality is that a criminal will get a weapon if he or she wants it bad enough.  Let doctors do their jobs too.  Stop tying their hands with all the ridiculous privacy acts and nonsense.  Any good physician protects the rights of their patient reasonably.  But a good human will report and act with respect to someone who is a danger to themselves or others, except that the law and the politics interferes with that.  There are so many restrictions in place that slipping through the cracks is a common occurrence.  Truthfully, we are lucky if that doesn't happen.  Stop hampering law enforcement from doing their jobs.  Let them follow up on leads and have the justice system be more supportive in taking harmful people and law breakers out of action. 

Politicians have spent so much time creating a nightmare web of legal trappings!  They are so hell bent on protecting the civil rights of criminals (including illegal aliens) that everyone else's civil rights are trampled into the mud!!!!!

And finally, Politicians and the legal system have made a nightmare of the American family.  And for that matter, parents have too.  People, if you don't want to be a complete parent don't be a parent at all!  You cannot allow your children to be raised by electronics and cell phones and computers.  Pay attention to them.  Spend time with them.  Talk to them!!!!!   And when the going gets rough, talk to them some more, even when the are hateful little people.  Don't abandon your job.  Stay off your phones and computers and spend that time with the precious people you brought into this world.  Being a parent is the hardest job in the world.  You work 24 hours a day, seven days a week for no pay and no vacation time!!!  But in the end, the prize is priceless!

May God bless everyone one of you and many blessings and tears for those who suffer today.

Truth be told ... this is no surprise to the people who know our family.  When I first met "The Surprise's" girlfriend and she spent a few days visiting us, she got a small taste of how crazy our household is.  I distinctly remembering telling her as she left that I was looking forward to her spending some "normal" time with us.  I was delusional.  Or Lying.  I prefer delusional.  We NEVER have a "normal"  day.  Abnormal is our normal.  "The Surprise" has been trying desperately to put his life in order and plan for the future as he gets ready for graduation.  I don't know why.  He knows that Plan A doesn't have a chance in our family.  Plan B is a vague possibility.  On a good day, I can stop at Plan C, but the majority of may days move to Plan E or further within 30 minutes of the start of the day.

But even with all the normal abnormal, we can still be considered a bit crazy... no, a lot.  We all have our quirks.  I have started recycling at our house.  My family thinks it is funny to deliberately put garbage in the wrong bin just to get a reaction.  I was gone for a week and a half.  I am sure that chuckled every time they threw plastic bottles in the regular trash. 

Periodically, I like to rearrange cabinets, furniture, etc.  I do it for a freshness and to clean really well.  My family is convinced that I do it just to keep all of them on edge.  Don't worry, in their craziness they get even every time they do the dishes.  I never know where I will find things in the kitchen.

I was pretty sure that when we got together, there was something special about me and Doc that carried us as a couple.  Turns out I was right.  It was our quirks.  I have done the laundry in our family for 35 years.  I could count on one hand how many loads of laundry Doc has done.  And really, I am okay with that (All women's libbers please breathe).  Anyway, I have matched socks, folded underwear, removed stains, and fought the battle of socks deserting their mates.  I have a full basket of single socks that I am considering signing up for Match.com.  About six months ago, after 35 years, Doc stepped off the ledge.  He took my hot pink Sharpie permanent marker and started matching his socks.  They all have alien symbols on them now and I am expected to match the circle socks, the triangle socks, the socks with slash marks.  Doc had some surgery while I was out of town.  "Mini-Me" called to tell me what it was like to see him lying in a hospital bed before surgery and look at his feet with white socks that wore the hot pink number "2".  I was seriously considering whether this insane action should be my line in the sand.  But then, I called him to set his mind at ease because I had located the missing "0" sock. 

I guess my message is  this.... stop fighting it.  God loves us all with our craziness and differences.  So I guess that means that God loves my husband and his sock issues too.  Save getting upset for the really big stuff and then even at that, ask God to help you.   Have a wonderful weekend!