For anyone who knows me, you know that I simply cannot go without commenting on the events of the last few days in Baltimore. It is so sad. I do have family and friends there and have been praying for the safety of all.
That being said, OH MY GOD! I have SEVERAL thoughts on this mess. Let’s begin with the core of the problem. It is not police oppression, lack of jobs, blah, blah, blah. It starts with the erosion of the American family. The American family has disintegrated on several aspects. As I recall, Bill Cosby took massive hits for commenting on the erosion specifically of the Black Family. Yet today, multiple respected Black leaders are applauded for saying the same thing. No matter what your color, you have parents, who do not know how to be parents, who really do not want to be parents, or prefer to be their child’s friend instead of the parent. Kids need love, discipline, structure and limits. They don’t always like it, and their job is to test all of it. The bottom line is, they feel safest with those four things. Without them, they panic and chaos ensues. Parents need to teach the above, in addition to respect for authority. Teachers should not have to be police. Police should not have to be parents. PARENTS NEED TO BE PARENTS!
Bad economy and lack of jobs? Baloney! I have many friends and family who immigrated to the United States. They left their homes with nothing and arrived with nothing. They found jobs, sometimes those jobs were “beneath” everyone else. They worked hard. Sometimes they worked two and three jobs to make ends meet. They didn’t always have clothes and shoes. But they worked hard to make things better. They respected themselves and didn’t sit back and demand government handouts. They took care of the few possessions they had. THEY RESPECTED THEMSELVES!!!!! They did not resort to drugs to get by. Wait, don’t drugs cost money?! They certainly did not steal from others to benefit themselves. They worked hard for a better life. They did not blame anyone for their “situation”. They worked hard to improve their “situation”.
People elected the officials who continue to fail this country. These are the officials who encourage you to take those handouts, and they tell you that you are entitled to them. They do not help you help yourself. They line their own pockets and blame the previous administrations. They are paid well for what they do, yet you need to ask “What exactly do they do?” It is time to hold our elected officials accountable for the messes that they structured.
Personally, I do not care if you are green, black, white or pink with purple stripes. Be a human being! Parents need to teach themselves as well as their children to respect themselves and the community they live in. They need to make change in the appropriate way, not by destroying themselves with drugs, alcohol, etc. or by destroying their neighbors with vandalism and theft. It is time that we become accountable for our own behaviors and lives!!!! Stop blaming the world for your lot in life. You are the only one responsible for your place in the world and life!!!!
I pray that everyone takes stock of themselves. We are better than this!!!
I was having a day last week, or at least I thought I was, that would have most people sucking their thumb in a dark closet! It brought back many memories of being a stay at home mom with numerous small children who had lots of demands and needs and a schedule that would have been impossible for Wonder Woman to maintain. Yet, I expected it of myself and found myself overwhelmed and frustrated.
So anyway, I was behind in my office work. We were planning a bridal shower for Superson’s fiancée. I took two days off work to shop for supplies with Mini Me. By Thursday, I was totally overwhelmed and decided to focus on catching up on paperwork so that I could prepare the house on Friday. Of course the shower for 30 women was to be at my house.
I was typing away madly. At 11:30, I was still in pajamas, typing and babysitting two grandchildren. The dogs had hair appointments and of course I could not remember what time. As I went to call the groomer, Mini Me called and let me know that “Max” had been up half the night because her ear hurt. She had made an appointment with the pediatrician and it would really help if I could take her. SURE! NO PROBLEM! I really didn’t mind, as Mini Me was taking the lead with the shower and putting in a lot of work. However, the appointment was at 2:20. Three hours, I could do that. I just need to leave 45 minutes to get there.
Called the groomer. What time are the dogs to be there? 12:00! No problem, I can do that. I have to get dressed and put two children and four dogs in the car. Done! And I was only ten minutes late. Belle only needs her nails trimmed and we wait while that is done and I can move on to the next event. But, the low fuel light on my car was on. Got to stop for gas even though my friend has informed me that when you are married, it is your husband’s responsibility to make sure you always have gas in your car. Seriously?! There is a gas station around the corner and I stop. I am not kidding you when I tell you that the pump was so slow it took 15 minutes to put one gallon of gas in! I don’t have that kind of time! It is already 12:40! I still have to hit three banks and get lunch for the kids and get them dressed. A shower would be helpful too. Okay, executive decision! One gallon is at least enough to get me back home. Done!
On the way home, I give instructions to “Max”. Get dressed, make sure you have socks on, get an outfit out of the drawer for your brother. Nana needs to take a quick shower and get dressed. As we pull in the driveway, I hear a “plop” in the back of me. “Max”, what happened? Oh Nana, Belle threw up all over the back seat! Are you kidding me?!!!! It is 12:50. I get the kids inside and make a brave attempt at cleaning the car. It is so bad that I finally take the floor mat out and hose it off. I am running and breaking a sweat at this point. 1:00, I can do this. Shower, dress, a little makeup, kids in the car and it is only 1:15. I can do this.
I drive through two banks, the pharmacy will have to wait until after the pediatrician and so will bank number three. Need lunch for the kids. McDonald’s is just up the road. I hate to, but I drive through. It is 1:45. I can do this. I am doing great until…..I manage to get behind every awkward driver on the planet. Everyone is driving a minimum of five miles per hour under the speed limit! I make turns to get on a new route. It doesn’t help. There is a conspiracy, the slowboats have mapped out every possible route I could take and strategically placed someone at that location to slow me down. I can still do this!
As I finally get close to the Pediatrician’s, I see a car, a lady, a tow truck and two men in a driveway up ahead. As I pass the driveway, I notice that the back end of the lady’s minivan is sitting on top of a boulder that is at least four feet high, wheels off the ground. I just know that the two men are struggling not to laugh while they figure out how to remove the car from its lofty parking spot! Maybe my day isn’t so bad after all!
By the way, I made it to the Pediatrician and was only five minutes late. My blood pressure was up at least 20 points, but I was smiling and still got home in time to get dressed to go out to dinner at 6:30!!!! Told you I could do it! Have a blessed day and smile and be thankful for the blessings and adversity placed in front of you.
Here are the final two items in the list.
9. She put you first.
Of course she did! When her friends wanted to go to a movie or dinner, she said no because you had your fourth grade open house. When she saw a new pair of shoes or dress that she wanted, she didn’t get them because the budget was tight and you wanted a new dress for the dance. Instead of pursuing her career, she chose to stay home with you and care for you herself. Please do not be offended by that last sentence. It is just one example of how a mom can put her child first. It is not meant to criticize moms who work or go to school. There are good reasons why some moms need to make that choice. Often when that is the case, the working mom makes many other sacrifices for her child. When she wasn’t feeling good and you came home and wanted to talk about your day, she smiled as if nothing was wrong and listened carefully.
In everything she did, she put your needs ahead of hers. It didn’t matter what it was that you needed. Because of all of the love that a mother carries for her child, she puts herself and her needs to the side to provide for that child at that time.
10. She would do it all again.
I can honestly say, “I would do it all again!” I would hope that if I could turn back the hands of time, I might choose to do some things differently, but I would do it again. I wouldn’t miss being pregnant, giving birth, watching the miracles and wonders of a child, feeling my heart overflow with love, laughing until I cried, crying because it hurt, swelling with pride at their achievements, seeing them become independent, sending them to college, having them start their own families.
I have had people tell me that I wasted my college education because I chose to stay home with my kids. I never saw it as a waste. Knowing the challenges, laughter and tears that I shared with them… I WOULD DO IT ALL AGAIN!!
Wife, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Nurse, Grandmother, Friend...that's me in a nutshell!