After all this time and some epic falls, I finally made it! Mini-Me posted one of my incidents on Facebook and within minutes 50 people had seen it. Now, I know that doesn't mean a lot to most of you who are well-versed in computer and social media, but as far as I am concerned, I went viral!
My kids get terribly concerned when I don't answer my phone, simply because they know how many times something dumb has happened. The whole chain of events started when I was only four or five. We were playing at the neighbors and sitting in a circle. My sister kept telling me to back up and I did . . . right into a window well and through a window that led to the neighbors basement. I managed to slice my ear in half. I also managed to run home barefoot through some prickly weeds. My mother, being loving and comforting, insisted that I get washed before we headed to the emergency room. I don't know why, because all of the blood would just continue to get me dirty.
I stayed relatively safe until high school when one of the girls decided to play a mean girl joke on me during a gymnastics exhibition. I was vaulted and went airborne landing on my outstretched arm. Four surgeries later, I have a functional arm!
Adulthood seems to be a little trickier for me. I tumbled down the steps carrying "Mommy" in her walker. Thank God, because while the walker beat the heck out of me, it protected her. My shins over the years have come to look like a war zone. We have a pretty dastardly wooden box that has attacked me multiple times when I haven't been paying attention to where I was going. In fact, that box now has a smaller accomplice in the bedroom.
Then there was missing the last two steps coming down from my office with my arms full of papers. That resulted in a bad sprain, physical therapy and the use of a walker and crutches at the same time that my mother was in town for her own knee surgery. Of course once in a while I admit to foolish maneuvers like hanging a picture while standing on the piano bench and stepping backwards right onto an exercise ball.
I am still certain that the security people at Pittsburgh airport have saved the video of me skipping down the concourse after putting my mother on a plane to go home, catching my shoe on the carpet and face planting. I have noticed that the gut response is not to sit and assess your wounds. It is to protect your pride by looking for witnesses. My friends and family spent months searching YouTube for the video.
Now that MiniMe has moved into her new house, I have to learn to navigate the treacherous path from her house up the driveway to mine. After dinner Sunday night, I argued about walking instead of accepting a ride. I won. And as I headed down the driveway with my arms raised in victory, I hit a water filled hole and went belly first into it. Saved my phone! I was completely soaked with mud and water from the waist down. The front of my shirt was the same, and the backs of my arms. (That's what you get for doing a victory run). Got the dirt out of my teeth as soon as I made it home!
No matter what happens to you in life, and some of it can be pretty bad, try to keep a sense of humor. Don't take yourself too seriously. If you have kids, they will keep you humble and will post all of your mishaps on Facebook for you! Have a blessed week and stay safe!!
Wife, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Nurse, Grandmother, Friend...that's me in a nutshell!