Bullies

This is a subject that I have been putting off for a while. Partly because I have been having so much fun telling stories on the kids and mostly because it is pretty painful.  It is not easy to talk about.  Everyone was home for Pascha.  I enjoyed every minute and watched my children with great pride and admired the strong adults that they have become.  I guess it was then, that I decided that it was time to let you know.  I was bullied. Five of my six children were bullied.  Bullies come in all shapes and sizes.  You cannot control who they are or why they choose to bully your child. Suffice to say that they exist.

Not everyone will agree on my take on bullies.  A significant number of people will tell you that there is no such thing.  It is simply a matter of kids being kids.  Others will finally admit that they exist but don't want to do anything about it.  Others want to do something but don't know what to do and in my opinion many groups are making money off the topic and doing the wrong things. 

Bullying is not a new creation.  It has existed for many years.  I was bullied in high school and that was forty years ago.  It is part of who I am now.  I can still remember people who  thought were my friends suddenly ganging up on me.  I didn't know why.  I would be laughed at, talked about, left out of things.  I had food thrown at me routinely during lunch.  I went to my parents and there response was to consider the source and ignore it.  It left me feeling pretty isolated and helpless.  It has left some scars, the wounds have healed but not without a lot of work.  The scars make me very sensitive to people's feelings and angry that bullying continues.  By the way, the bullies as well as everyone who watched it happen, have no clue what I was put through and what it did to me.

The pain of bullies is intensified when you see it happen to your child.  Maybe that is unique to me because it happened to me.  Not only did I hurt for myself through the memories that flooded back, but I ached and cried for my children and their pain.  I wanted to help them and did not want them to deal with it alone.

So, for today, that is my first piece of advice.  Focus on your child.  Acknowledge that they have been hurt and that you are there.  The loneliness of being bullied is excruciating.  They need to know how much they are loved and that you will do everything within your power to help them and support them.  PLEASSE make sure that they know