Bunked

Bunk Beds. 

Those are two words that elicit an immediate response from any mother.  Of course, there we start with the Stage One Mom who thinks bunk beds for her children are a great idea.  They are fun.  They have to be, because she always wanted bunk beds as a child but her mother said no.  Moms always say no to the really cool stuff, right.  Besides, look at the space that you can save with bunk beds.  I mean, the military uses them and look how many soldiers they can stack in the barracks with the simple use of bunk beds.  Colleges use them.  (My dorm room was able to house six college students on bunk beds) Prisons use them too.  No, wait.... that might night count as a "good" reason.

Then there is Stage Two Mom who has some experience.  She is the mom who realizes that anything that sounds this cool will eventually be a problem.  She isn't quite sure what kind of a problem, but there has to be one on the horizon.  After all, her own mom was a smart woman and she wouldn't allow any bunk beds.  Funny, she never explained why.  But...maybe we could do a trundle bed as a compromise.  Still fun, and low to the ground.

And then we progress to Stage Three Mom who knows from experience that bunk beds are the invention of an insane mom.  They are virtual death traps!!  What if the top collapses?!  What if the child on the bottom annoys the one on top by kicking them constantly.  What if the child on the bottom hits their head on the top bunk.  What if the child on top tortures the one on the bottom by dropping heavy objects on him or her.  Clearly the person who invented these beds did not think about it from the perspective of a child.  And let's not forget the problem of deciding who gets the top and who gets the bottom!  As a responsible adult, you find yourself lying through your teeth to both children, telling each of them that their spot is the coolest. 

Finally, there are Stage Four Moms, like me who have travelled through all three worlds of the bunk bed mom and now realizes that her fears have come to light.  Let's see, we can start with the numerous arguments about who gets to sleep where.  We can consider that "Calvin" had several cavities because when he had the top bunk he was able to reach the top drawer of his dresser without getting into bed and thus was able to sneak hidden candy out of his drawer without making a sound.  I believe I went through ten years of bunk beds before the truth finally set me free.  At the end of that time frame, I had reached my limits.  I no longer cared how many children could fit in the room. Did I mention that sending multiple children to the same room and/or bed as punishment is just a problem waiting to take shape?  Prison was making more sense to me.  I was tired of making beds that never comforters never sat on correctly.  I was tired of finding contraband stuffed under mattresses on the top and the bottom that belonged to no one. 

The straw that broke the camel's back was the night I called "Pook" and the "Surprise" upstairs for dinner.  The "Surprise" came to the table quickly.  Of course he did, at age five they are still adorable.  "Pook" however wasn't making an appearance.  Here is a shock, the "Surprise" had no idea why he wasn't coming.  So I marched downstairs and found "Pook" complaining about his foot.  Being the sensitive mother that I am sometimes not, I gave him minutes, no...seconds to get upstairs.  He hobbled and of course being nonsympathetic, I yelled at him again.  Once they were all in the same room, words started flying.  It turns out that my eight year old claimed that his adorable little brother pushed him off the top bunk!  Seriously?!  First of all, two people don't belong on the top bunk.  Oh, wait....we are talking about little boys!  Ultimately, we got xrays and of course we then had to deal with a fracture, crutches and a cast......

You may be asking why this topic has come to mind.   Did I mention that "Mini Me" and the "Admiral" just got bunk beds for the boys.  "Aren't they great mom?  They have drawers built in and we insisted on stairs to the top bunk instead of a dangerous ladder!"  Did I mention that at naptime today, the two year old was on the top bunk with the four year old?  No wonder I pray for my children and grandchildren every single day!!!

Who knew that beds and sleeping could be so hazardous?  Have a safe and blessed week.  Don't waste your time and breath trying to convince your children that bunk beds are not all they are cracked up to be.  Stand by with ice packs and a glass of wine.  And most of all, keep praying !!!!