I can remember being told a long time ago, that it was not about how my kids acted when they were with me, it is about how they behave when they are away from you. Unfortunately, I cannot remember who imparted these words of wisdom to me, but over the years I heard them in my mind over and over. And...I find myself sharing that information with my own children today as they are dealing with my grandchildren.
Obviously, "Mini Me" hears it the most because I babysit her little ones on a daily basis. Invariably when she arrives to pick them up, "Max" will either throw a rip roaring temper tantrum or ask for an overnight. Naturally, "Mini Me" gets her feelings hurt, who wouldn't?!
She also struggles to deal with the tantrums, and I get asked why does she act like this around me but behaves for you?
Attention young moms!!!! It is not about you. It is not about how your child behaves around you. It is not about your child wanting to spend time with other people. First, always remember that in a toddler's mind, the whole world revolves around them. There is nothing you can do to convince them otherwise. It is why your name is repeated a million times a day, as if you are deaf or stupid. You know; "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom..." They expect your immediate and complete attention and response and they will settle for nothing less. See...you are vital to their survival.
Believe it or not, one of your goals in raising your children is to have them become independent and eventually survive on their own. Try to remember that when they want to spend time with others. It is only the first steps in becoming an independent little critter. Isnt' that what you want? Maybe you are becoming insecure as you help them to become confident. Try not to take it personally. Believe me, when they hurt, need to snuggle, need a hug, want to share good news or play, you are the one your child looks for. Remember that when you are too busy.
Finally, your child will act up for you. You are the one person who will always love them, no matter how much they misbehave, or how mad they can make you. They have built an incredible trust in you, that you will always be there, and sometimes they test the theory! You will know that you have been a good parent when your child becomes independent and behaves like an angel when they are with someone else. That means they have absorbed all the love and instruction that you have imparted on them. Hang on to those thoughts, because they will get you over the struggle times when you are ready to pull your hair as well as theirs out. Smile big, give hugs, play and cherish every time they say "I love you!"
Wife, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Nurse, Grandmother, Friend...that's me in a nutshell!