It's Tough

Today is dedicated to the women - sorry guys.  But I do hope you keep reading.  It may give you a little insight into what the ladies are feeling. 

It is tough being a mother and a wife.  I don't mean this sound like I am complaining because, truly the majority of the time I love my life.  It fits me.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to be home with my family as it has grown up and now with my grandchildren.  I had a good friend who helped with babysitting for a short period of time when "Pook" and "The Surprise" were young and I really appreciated the grown up time working in "Doc's" office.  Sometimes though, I do feel like I cheated them out of some of the mommy time that their older siblings got.  I hope and think that I did a pretty good job.  I have some great kids. 

All that being said, over the course of the years, there have been times when I have felt unappreciated and ignored by husband and kids.  There are times when I have felt that my entire identity has been erased by the fact that I am a wife and a mother.  I started out going to college for five years to become a registered nurse.  I stayed in the profession for a relatively short period of time because of marriage and children.  I used to get angry when people told me I had wasted my education.  I was devastated when I was told to start pulling my weight with household needs.

I think any woman who has ever been a wife and/or mother has felt like a maid to everyone.  The stay at home moms are left with the majority of the household chores.  After all, it is their job right?  And besides, they have all the time in the world.  So it is no big deal when you are expected to grocery shop, feed the kids, prepare dinners, entertain, do laundry, clean the house, get some yardwork done, arrange for any household repairs, run errands for everyone else, volunteer for the school and your child's classroom help with homework, ..... and the list goes on and on!  No matter how hard you try to train and teach, the house gets left a mess, dishes are left on the counter because we can't open the dishwasher and set them in there, clean and dirty clothes are left on the floor just to mention a few things.  We are left to run the race day after day.  I cannot imagine what working moms go through.  Do you share a little more with respect to household responsibilities?  I am not saying that the other half doesn't have his own share of feelings, I am only speaking for one side today.

Kids can be demanding.  They want everything now.  You try to teach patience and you get frustrated.  They need attention when they are healthy and more attention when they are sick.  You spend every day meeting their needs, often to a fault.  Often, no one even bothers to say thank you. You give advice, good advice and you might as well talk to the brick walls.  You are accused of being controlling, of not understanding, of being mean, of spoiling their fun and ruining their lives.

You are there to give them love no matter how you feel that day. This is the job you signed up for. Yet, it is more than a job - it is your heart and soul.  At the end of it all, when you pull yourself together and hopefully catch your breath, you smile because one of them says "I love you!" for no reason at all.  Your heart melts and it washes away all of the frustration, anger, feeling sorry for yourself and sometimes even the loneliness.  Your child looks at you and says he will never stop holding your hand and your heart aches with love and joy.  They grow up and move on and do wonderful things and are wonderful people and your heart bursts with pride and joy. And then, you think back on all those years and realize that they have disappeared in a heartbeat.  The heartaches soften, and you know that if you had it all to do again, you would.  It is tough, but anything worth having and doing is worth the hard work and effort.  My love and thanks goes out to all moms today.  Keep doing the best you can, remember to ask God for that strength that you need.