Ever think about running away from home. I mean, I know we all did as kids, but sometimes when things get really hectic, I think about it now. Whether or not they all about running away, I can't tell you. I do know specifically of two times that "Mommy" and/or "Calvin" did.
"Calvin" attempted a solo escape towards the end of grade school. I truly don't remember why he was so mad at me, but he certainly decided that he would do much better on his own. Before I knew it he had packed his bags and was working the piles of his belongings down the driveway. I don't think he ever made it the quarter of a mile that it took to just get to the road before I went after him. I can remember wondering what people would think if they saw him moving large piles of his belongings down the street. At the rate he was going he was going to be of age to drive before he made it to the first intersection! That was all before I realized that any parent who saw him and his attempted escape from Alcatraz would smile and move on. All parents have been there.
As much as "Mommy" and "Calvin" battled each other, every once in a while they would combine forces in an attempt to bury my fortitude. There was a particular day when they were both being quite difficult. I reached my limit and sent them both to their bedrooms and went about my business. I admit now that sometimes, once I put them in their rooms or down for a nap, I would get busy and forget about them. Quiet can do that to you.
As I was saying, I sent them to their rooms. I would guess that they were about five and three in age. I know it was summer, because they were both wearing little terry cloth shorts. They were very popular at the time, comfortable for the kids and easy to get in and out of for bathroom purposes. "Mommy" had little girl colors like pink and yellow. "Calvin" wore more manly colors like red and navy blue. It stayed pretty quiet for a while and I guess I hoped that they had both fallen asleep. After about an hour I checked on them and released them from detention in their rooms.
The next day, I was in for the surprise of my life. I was picking up around the house and cleaning their rooms, and happened to check under their beds for laundry. Imagine my surprise when I found a pair of pink terry cloth shorts under "Mommy's" bed that were covered in thistles. You could barely see the shorts! Why don't I remember this? I decided to check "Calvin's" room and found a similar pair of red shorts under his bed. What?!!
This called for a meeting of the minds. These two were never very skilled at telling fibs. All I had to do was ask and they cracked like criminals being questioned under a bright light. It turns out that the reason they were so quiet the day before when they were sent to their rooms is because they weren't in their rooms. Apparently they had converged in "Mommy's" room and decided to bust out of the joint. They opened the window and climbed out, landing in a bed of thistle plants. In an instant they looked like fuzzballs with dozens of thistles covering there shorts like metal to magnets. Maybe they needed to think they escape through a little better. Who would take them serious looking like that? Back to the drawing board and their rooms where they removed their shorts and hid them under their beds. Wait, what? Did they really think I wouldn't find those? What was the plan here? I guess ultimately, detention looked better than what lay ahead of them outside the joint! I can't help but wonder how many stories like this I have never found out about, hmm.
Wife, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Nurse, Grandmother, Friend...that's me in a nutshell!