more bullies -2

Okay, so I think we can agree that being the "victim" of bullying hurts.  It is also definitely one of those times when you can tell your kids that it hurts me as much if not more than it hurts you.  I really don't like using the term "victim".  We only become victims if we allow ourselves to be victims.  We will get to that soon.  In the meantime, let's keep building on the core of bullying.

I received some comments on the last entry.  One theme that repeats itself is "Why me?".  When you are bullied, even if you are a strong Christian person and/or have a great family situation and support, you can't help but wonder what is wrong with you.  Am I ugly, am I creepy or weird or gross, do I wear weird clothes?  It gets really confusing because a lot of time, the people who bully you were your friends a few weeks ago.  You try to figure out what you did to provoke this. 

So, at this point, you are sure that you are alone and the only one who has ever had this happen to them and it must be because something is wrong with you.  In reality, it is not you at all.  If it is your child being bullied, it isn't them either.

What I can tell you next is that bullies are everywhere.  I believe that they used to exist mostly in the high school age range.  What I know now, is that there are bullies in the workplace - coworkers and bosses.  They still exist in high school.  Sometimes it is between the students, sometimes it is staff to student, student to staff and even staff to staff.  It creeped into the middle school where it can get particularly brutal because of unstable hormones and behaviors during that age.  Finally, it is now in the elementary schools. 

Girls used to be particularly vicious and "catty" with looks, talking behind your back in front of you, gossiping, isolating.  Boys used to be more physical.  Beating someone up, threatening.  The two groups have now blended with boys exhibiting what used to be girl behavior and vice versa.  Nothing surprises me anymore with the behaviors.  It is a sad statement on humanity that we do not have to accept quietly any more!!!