Remember When?

Remember when telephones were always attached to wires?  When you needed to call someone, you called them at work or home.  If there was no answer, it meant that they weren't home.  You called back later.  Pretty simple. 

Remember when you were away from home and needed to make a phone call, you put a quarter in a pay phone and dialed the number?  Me too. 

Well we couldn't have people call our homes and not be able to talk to us, so some "genius" invented the answering machine.  Do you remember how stupid we sounded when we recorded the message to leave us a message?  Eventually this handy little tool was incorporated directly into the phone.  But, now there was no escape. We did have a brief moment of revenge with caller ID.  If you didn't like who was calling you just didn't answer.

Then some "genius" invented beepers.  Doctors carried them.  If a doctor got paged, he found a phone and called the number that paged him.  Another "genius" decided that our phones needed to follow us and invented the Cellular Phone.  Now doctors were able to purchase a phone to carry with them.  They no longer needed to "find a phone".  Doc spent a small fortune on his first cell phone, which was exactly like the one used by Michael Douglas in the movie "Wall Street".  Taking your cell phone with you however, was like carrying a small suitcase or large purse.  At first it was pretty cool.  You had to be pretty important to have a cell phone.  But then reality set in.  We are always available. 

Phones got smaller and smaller and they could do more and more.  You could text - although for me, God knows that is always a pending disaster.  You could send a receive emails.  You could use facebook or connect with the "Web".  Our lives were permanently altered by the "geniuses" (or were they idiots) who invented these things.

The stupidity reached its pinnacle for me this weekend.  I am always hassled by my family and friends for not answering my phone.  Look, I have things to do and carrying my phone with me constantly is not a priority.  Besides, I lose or "misplace" my phone at least ten times a day.  It is bad enough that my granddaughter now follows me with and/or locates it for me even when I am not looking for it.  But anyway, this weekend I decided to put their harassment to bed.  I was going to carry my phone with me at all times.  I started some yardwork, transplanting some Pachysandra to Pook's house.  I dug up the pachysandra and some lilies and was going to put them in the Jeep and drive down the driveway to his house and transplant them.  Rats!  The power was off Saturday morning.  Can't get the Jeep out of the garage because the door won't open without electricity.  Good news!  The other door is open and I can get the small tractor out and drive it to Pook's house.  So, I load up the box of plants and a shovel and some gloves and start down the driveway.  Wait!  I forgot my phone.  I think I left it on the deck near the flower bed I was digging up.  Nope, not there.  Maybe I set it down in the house.  Nope, not there.  Maybe I can call myself.  Rats!  Can't use the house phone (yes, we still have a land line.  we are one of two households in Ohio, I think), because it won't work without the electricity.  Doc always leaves his cell phone in his truck, I can use that. Rats!  For the first time ever, he has taken his phone with him.  Now I have to humiliate myself by driving to the barn, to borrow his phone.  After the laughter subsides, he hands me his phone and I drive the tractor back to the house.  I call myself at least 250 times.  No ringing in the house, but when I go outside I can hear it faintly.  Oh!  it must be near the plants.  Nope.  Did I put it in the Jeep?  Nope, the Jeep is not answering my phone either.  I walk outside, I can hear it.  I am certain it is in the garage, but I can't find it anywhere.  I can still here it in front of the garage.  Maybe it is by the other flower bed.  Nope! But the sound is stronger.  I continue to follow the side like I am on some scavenger hunt and THERE IT IS!  Laying in the driveway.  I must have dropped it when I was driving to Pook's.  Bad News!  The screen is shattered and the phone will not engage.  Clearly it was cruelly and mercilessly crushed by the tractor tires.  Worse News!  I have to rehumiliate myself by driving to the barn and telling Doc what happened and ask him to call AT&T for my options.  Good News!  I have insurance!  Bad News!  I now have to rely on Pook and Doc to notify the rest of the family and some friends that I am incommunicado until Monday or Tuesday when a replacement arrives.  Of course, this leads to all of the smart aleck comments... "Oh, so it will be just like normal, Mom won't answer her phone." or "Mom, I texted you but you didn't answer, oh wait, you can't."

I had a pretty peaceful weekend.  No phone calls, no texts!  This all begs the question, remember when if no one answered the phone at your house, it meant you weren't home and they called back later?  Was it really so bad?  Welcome to MomSense Monday!