The Dragon Strikes Again!

I am soooo excited!  Got my first new vehicle in about 15 years, maybe more! A lot of things have changed with cars in 15 years.   It took about one day for the excitement to wear off though.  That was all the time it took for The Dragon of Technology to strike at me!
It is no secret to any of my family and friends that I am locked in a life and death battle with modern technology.  My phone makes calls without me.  It hides itself from me on a regular basis.  I type words that I want to use, and it decides that it prefers other words.  No kidding, sometimes it has completely embarrassed me.

News Flash!  Cars are now polluted with technology.  I am trying to read the manual to my vehicle, honest!  It is not a great novel by any stretch of the imagination.  But…I did find out that there is a way to touch a button and have my vehicle teach me what I just read about.  Have you ever been treated like an idiot by any device?  I have.  At least now I have.  I still haven’t programmed my radio.  That will involve me looking like an idiot while I sit in my vehicle in my driveway reading the instructions as I attempt to set the radio stations that I like.  Of course all new vehicles come with Satellite radio and they now expect me to learn to transfer that signal anywhere I want.  I do not have to sit in my car to enjoy the radio.

The salesman kindly synchronized my cell phone to my car.  Can anyone spell disaster?!  My phone already tortures me and now it is in a conspiracy with my vehicle.  I can now at least answer the phone, but I have not tried voice dialing.  I will probably end up on the phone with the CIA.  I cannot however, have my car read me text messages.  It changes the radio to a station called the Message.  I have even said please, but no luck.  Somehow as I pleaded with my vehicle to read a message to me, it decided that I preferred to communicate in French.  My future daughter in law was in tears laughing.  She even called me while sitting next to me in the passenger seat to see if it would talk to me in Francais!  And it did.  I don’t speak French.  I took German!  I still don’t know how I convinced it to go back to English but it did.

And finally, they put a bunch of new controls on my steering wheel.  I can control just about anything as I drive while barely moving my hands.  Beware though!  If you press the buttons on the right back side of the steering wheel, you do not go faster.  That is because you have to remember that the cruise control and “faster” and “slower” buttons are on the front of the steering wheel.  You will however be able to blast your favorite song at a very loud volume!  Oh, and you also can’t control the vehicle from the back left side of the steering wheel, but you can change the radio station up or down without your own knowledge.
Did I mention that I also decided on a manual transmission?  Stopping on hills still makes me a little nervous, but I don’t stall out as often.  Did I mention that my granddaughter now cheers for me as I drive and congratulates me on not having a panic attack as I begin to drive?  This could get ugly!  Have a great day!