The Trouble with Toilet Paper

Well, the trouble with toilet paper is that it somehow disappears, and I don't mean when you flush!!  Is there anything more horrifying that being in the bathroom, finishing your chore and finding that you can't finish your chore because the toilet paper roll is empty and there are no spares nearby?  So there you sit.  You can glance around and pray that there is a box of Kleenex in the bathroom.  You can holler for help and hope that someone is in the house to help you.  You can also imagine that someone is hiding outside the door giggling at you.  The real horror happens when you realize that you are alone in the house and are stuck in the bathroom!  We won't discuss the various solutions to that problem!

Whenever we have guests now I make the rounds or assign the chore to someone, and check all bathrooms for an ample supply of the precious paper.  One of my fears is that guests will find themselves in a potty predicament!  We did have a party a few summers ago and my sister in law went inside to use the bathroom.  About twenty minutes later we could hear someone yelling and realized that she was missing.  OMG!!! (to quote my kids) We ran to the bathroom and she was at the window crying.  Thank God she was alright!  Thank God she had toilet paper!  Somehow she had gotten herself locked in the bathroom.  I can live with that.

Vanishing toilet paper has been elevated to an art form in our house.  I am ashamed to admit that it took me a while to figure out what was going on.  The "powder room" is not used that often.  It is usually only used by guests and somehow it never had toilet paper in it!  This is very troubling to me as it is meant for guests.  The bathroom in the Mud Room also seemed to have this issue although it was used a little more frequently.  My bathroom was third on the list. 

So the amateur detective in me came out in me and I decided to solve this crime.  It didn't take long to find the culprits.  Any guesses who?  Yep, the boys.  It turns out that they found it more logical and simpler to steal toilet paper from another bathroom than to go to the pantry and get new rolls when they ran out in their own bathroom.  I don't get it, but it worked for them and threw me into a panic.  Now, they simply do it to aggravate their sister. 

It seems like telling them to get replacement rolls from the pantry is a great solution and I should have been able to train them quickly.  There are not many steps to this action.  1) Note that you are low on toilet paper or put the last roll on the dispenser.  2) Go to the pantry and obtain 3 more rolls to store in the bathroom.  Two steps.  Simple.  Wait, because they can't figure this out on their own, I needed to add step three.  3) Tell mom that we are out of toilet paper in the pantry.  This adds a whole new horror to the problem.  Imagine this.  You are out of toilet paper and go to the pantry for a roll but the pantry is out of toilet paper too, and so are all the other bathrooms because the boys got to them first.  Now I know why Kleenex was invented.  It got bad enough that I went psycho and now have an emergency package of toilet paper in ..... sorry can't tell you in case the kids read this.  Like the boy scouts say, be prepared!