What to Do?

For those of you who don’t know, there has been a “hot” group out there that has a program that they are selling for tens of thousands of dollars to school.  They are promoting it as a bullying prevention program.  The trouble is, it doesn’t work.  Parts of it aren’t bad, but overall it just isn’t the complete program that they “sell” it as.  There is NO “mom-sense” in it!

First of all, how many times have you told your kids not to “tattle”?  The rule in our house is to settle your issues yourself.  I really don’t care whether or not you like each other.  Heck, there are times when I don’t like them.  We know we love each other as a family.  I require respect and the ability to live in the same environment.  The only time I want my gang to “tattle” is when someone is doing something dangerous or if what is happening could physically hurt someone.  Now that doesn’t mean that they can do whatever they want either or that they don’t need advice or help in handling something.  My kids know that they can come to me and talk about what is going on and we will discuss their options in handling it.  They always know that I am there for love and support.

This “Program” that the schools are buying teaches your children the opposite.  They teach your children to report and “tattle” on everyone for just about anything.  The idea is to cuddle the child being bullied and make them “feel good”.  Who can “feel good” when there ego is shattered and everyone is saying “poor baby”, let me fix it for you.  In my opinion, this is creating a whole new generation of victims, who will never be able to handle confrontation or difficulties in their lives.

People do need to know what is going on and understand that kids can be vicious.  Kids who gang up on other kids can take the situation to levels we never thought of.  With technology, bullying has escalated beyond belief. 

People being bullied do not need to become lifetime victims.  They do need the love and support of people around them.  They need to know that they are okay and valuable.  They need to be taught appropriate ways to advocate for themselves.  They don’t need someone to handle all of their problems.  The welfare system started out as a temporary assistance program to help people get back on their feet.  It was never meant to be the lifestyle of dependency that it has become for many.  This bullying program will create the same type of dependency.  People get bullied as children, teens, and adults.  If we teach them as children how to handle these types of situations, they become healthy adults.  If we do it for them, we make them victims for life.  Or worse, we turn them into frustrated teens and adults who carry out explosive and deadly retaliations.

Be very wary of these “cure all” programs that are being bought by schools.  If you want to know what I think the best strategy is for bullying, ask me.  I have been bullied, my kids have been bullied.  We are healthy independent adults …..