Well, so far I have managed to stick pretty close to my goal of posting a blog once a week. But I feel it slipping away. . . I started out thinking Monday is perfect! We will start the week with works of humor and wisdom and call it Mom~Sense Monday. And then Monday and all its chaos showed up. Maybe Monday isn't as good as it sounds. So, how about Together Tuesdays? Well, Tuesday is generally spent picking up the pieces from Monday. Okay, Let's go with Whiskey Wednesdays, because who doesn't need a quick one to get you over the midweek hump?! Thursday? Well, that one is out simply because I couldn't think of something clever to call it. And here we are, FINALLY FRIDAY. It fits for now, but keep in mind that I am only two days away from missing my mark!
Anyway, back when my kids were much younger we had regular outtings otherwise known as a trip to the Pediatrician for physicals. I would have loved to take all six at once (which I did), but they would only examine a maximum of four per trip. Now I often wondered if that was because, like me, they would get them mixed up or if they simply couldn't handle/take more that four at a time. "Mommy" had just turned nine or ten I believe. Her exam was finished and the Pediatrician looked me dead in the eye and said "Congratulations, you are about to become the stupidest person in the world." I was shocked! I immediately demanded an explanation! Is this because he thought I was an idiot for having all these youngsters?!
His answer was quite simple. "At this age, your child begins to believe that he/she knows everything and you know nothing. You will always be wrong and there will be battles over everything you suggest. And . . . with all of these children and their age range, you can expect to be stupid for at least 15 to 20 years."
How could this be?!? These little darlings who have spent their formative years hanging on my every word, hug and direction!!?!! (Please note the sarcasm dripping here) I had already sort of had a taste of this years ago. At age 4 "Mommy" knew how to dress herself in her own style and would refuse to wear what I bought. We struck a very mature deal when she was 4 however. She could pick her own clothes, but I had veto power and there was a clause saying that she had to wear everything she picked out.
Well, needless to say the Pediatrician was dead right. I left his office that day stupider than I had ever been. I watched my intelligence spiral the drain for years. And then, right on schedule I slowly got smarter and smarter! By the time the Litigator hit 24 ( a mere two years ago) I became a near genius.
And then . . . it happened. My Legal Eagle started fighting my recommendations and thoughts. Pook threatens nursing homes if I follow through on some of my thoughts. Add to all this, my two oldest daughters are now stupid too. Their ten year olds and seven year olds should be nominated for a Nobel Prize for their intelligence by comparison! (again, please note that we are now POURING sarcasm). These four little darlings even dare to challenge me! How do they not see my wisdom?! What a cruel turn of events - it's my turn to be smarter!!!! The Littles (which is how I refer to our granddaughters who are two and younger) are smarter too! And don't believe for a moment that they aren't challenging everything! The General (at age 2) cannot seem to fathom that I am in charge and not her.
It is comforting to know that I am not in this boat alone this time. I have company on this voyage. My daughters are helping to row this boat! Now, every time we get challenged and corrected by a child, we simply look at each other and say, "Why are you so stupid?!" In spite of it all, I love my gang and am blessed every day to have more time with them. May God grant you many years and blessings!
Wife, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mother, Nurse, Grandmother, Friend...that's me in a nutshell!